Dating is fun, but sometimes it comes with the most unpleasant surprises. That includes cases when the person you thought you know via Google Hangouts or any meet-up sites is in fact someone else. We thought we'd try to get deeper into the intricate world of online dating scams.
We're not talking about the classic – by now – online dating fake profiles asking for money after the relationship takes off. We connected with two of the most reputable elite professional matchmakers in North America to share their thoughts: Bonnie Winston and Susan Trombetti.
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Both of them work with celebrities and have experienced enough to know what could raise a red flag for romance scams.
Winston has coined a term called matebaiting. What is it? “Crooks are dating and baiting the other person with exactly what they say they want. Let me explain”, says our expert, the founder of BonnieWinstonMatchmaker.com.
“Let's say you go on a first date and outline all your must-haves during dinner. There may be some chemistry and on the second date the other person suddenly mentions, You know what, I want to get married and have kids soon, as well. Or something like Hey, I love Indian food and camping. I'm looking for a committed relationship, as well.”
“In other words, they are matebaiting. Finding out what you want and then telling you exactly what you want to hear about a long-term relationship. These people, it can be a man or woman, are not really interested in long-term, they're just manipulating the situation.”
Recommended Read: Online Dating Background Check Scam
“Often, especially for women, marriage and children is the ultimate goal, and guys know that. So be careful about revealing too much in your online profile, or in social media, or on a first or second date.”, advises Winston.
“Sometimes the person using these practices hides a very dark past. I was introduced once to a very attractive man, full of charisma, smarts and spirit. I was surprised to find out he was never married or in a long serious relationship, but I decided to consider representing him, not before doing some research.”
“It took me a while, but I discovered that this guy had spent seven years in jail for a $750,000 money-laundering scheme… Would you trust him?”, says Winston.
“Make sure you go on the Internet and spend quite a bit of time looking for your prospect. You'd be surprised how much stuff you can find, especially nowadays. Sure, not everything online might be true, but when you find a mugshot as I did in the case I just told you about, you know that's a big issue. Also, don't be afraid to run a background check if you really like the person and consider a future with him or her”.
“Remember That 90% Of All Communication Is Non-Verbal”
On the other hand, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, Susan Trombetti, uses her background in fraud prevention as wisdom to vet out sneaky characters. As a former liquidator of fraudulent portfolios, Susan knows like no other how to read fakes. She is sharing her knowledge with all her clients.
“Trust your instinct. Look at what they do rather than what they say. Remember that 90% of all communication is non-verbal, so you might figure out a partner sooner than you think”, she says.
“If you are not sure about a person, use an expert that has access to tools to help you out.”
“I know a lady who found out – only two weeks before her wedding – that her soon-to-be husband has not one, but NINE other identities. Isn't that crazy? She felt something is not right and started to dig a little bit. Better late than never”, concludes Trombetti.
“There is another case I know. Someone was married to a guy who used the Social Security Number of a long-time deceased person. You don't want to be surprised like that. Ever”.
Dating Scams: How to Avoid
Both Bonnie Winston and Susan Trombetti say there is no shame in Googling someone if you are interested in them. You can also check your new partner's public records.
Don't lead with your heart. Look for inconsistencies and don't get too excited at what they tell you from the beginning. Does the story add up every single date? Also, watch out for Google Hangouts scams and people claiming to be who they're not.
People jump into a relationship too quick. Try to look it down, observe it with intelligence. Trust your gut and use an expert if it's difficult to find a soulmate. If you need a trustworthy online dating platform, join Ashley Madison.
Online Dating Scams: How To Report
Make your friends and family aware of any questionable individuals by sharing their names in the Comments section below. You can also officially report the scammers to the Federal Trade Commission using the link below:
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I have been on the dating websites.. alt.com, adultfriendfinder.com, Ashleigh Madison… looking for one woman for a longterm relationship. What I found was I would say 90% of the female profiles (100% that contacted me and talked with me) were either fake computer generated profiles with stolen pictures by scammers, fake profiles that has been shut off for years made by the company to show high membership, romance scammers, inheritance scammers, gift card and paypal scammers. I am a person that will give everyone a chance to prove they were a real person. But time after time, after 5 or 6 conversations on hangouts (google chat now), they expressed their total love for me and saying they wished to live with me. So I offer to pay for their plane ticket and email them their electronic ticket based on the information they show me on their ID passport. 100% of them said they would rather send them money instead as the excuse was, it was easier and they would pay part. They said I could send them via paypal and when I ask if the account was their personal one… they made excuses that they could not open an account at paypal, so they use their friend’s paypal account. Red flag to me as it could be money laundering. Then there were other women who say they would rather drive to me and asked me to send them money for gas but then they also later asked for money for hotel, food for the trip. It happened to me once that when I did send money for gas, they kept asking for more money as the excuses kept coming as to why they had problems in coming and never did come. There were other women who after me saying they would have to wait till I got paid and were saying they loved me after only one or two days, were asking me for money so they could get groceries, pay household bills, medical prescriptions for their mother or grandmother. Then there were other women who were asking for my help to fly from the States to europe or to africa to see a lawyer to settle their father’s business estate and it was stated in his will that the money had to go to the daughter’s boyfriend/husband. The money would be transferred to my bank account via direct deposit or certified check/ bank draft. When I asked for the lawyers name, I checked him out in the country he was supposed to be working in, ie.. Germany or UK,.. there was no such lawyer on any registry and his name came up to be in Nigeria or Ghana and not a lawyer.
For all the women scammers, if I say they would have to wait till I got paid.. were asking for money for groceries, or for a new iphone because they dropped theirs, or to pay back bills or medical expenses. Then send them gift cards.
For all the woman scammers.. if I say I had problems with sending via paypal, they want me to buy Steam, Amazon, Ebay, Apple gift cards and send them pictures of the active code and receipt of each card instead.
100% of the women say that I was nothing but a game player when I did not send the gift cards or money when They expect to be paid by me. As I knew after a while of them proving to me that they were nothing but scammers and I blocked them. I always used a separate email address with false info to open the email address account to protect myself and info. If I got too many scammers trying to talk to me, I shut down and delete that email. If I would have found a real woman, I would switch her to my real email address and possibly arrange a live meeting at a public place … I have yet to talk with a real woman on those websites so I have deleted my profile, email address and never return to any dating website as I find all dating websites have gone this way and it has gotten worse since the pandemic with what I have found many people who do not wish to work try to supplement their income on dating websites instead of working an actual job. 90% of the women I have talked too all said they were unemployed.
Asiandate is another scamming site. Fake girls and completly fraudulent links that are marked free and actually charge you. Be warned
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A very big problem occurred in my married between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.([email protected]}, So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past seven months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, i will advice you out there, If you have any problem contact him and i guarantee you that he will help you. Here’s his contact..Email him at: [email protected] ,you can also call him or add him on whats-app:+2348071622464,or view his website:https://u—ple.blogspot.com .
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